The Librarian's Revenge ©

The Librarian's Revenge ©

An Odyssey Into The Wonderful World Of Words

This community is dedicated to C.W. Hewett's epic masterpiece

Catalina

Vanessa B.Posted by Vanessa B. 12 Sep, 2009 05:17PM

smiley12th sept 09

plz tell me what you think of this cos i need some opinions for whether i should use it for gcse coursework!!!! thanks lol PS, if i have already shown it to you, there is some drastic alterations so plz read!!!!!

Catalina.

His folly, his whim, his desire.

He sent me here. He sent his obedient, loving and faithful wife here. All for the sake of a stupid and determined whore. I go from the highest position a woman can get to, in command of a country, to the lowest, in the same amount of time as it takes her to convince him that this is the right thing to do - which isn't long.

His folly, his whim, his desire.

For every second of the day I pray at my prie dieu to His Holiness the Pope in Rome that their marriage is cursed, that she dies in childbirth, he dies of grief and leaves no heir. If she does bare a healthy child then that child is a bastard in the eyes of me, His Holiness the Pope in Rome and God Himself. For my daughter Mary, the only true heir, will take my place even though she is only eleven years old, and be a good queen for England and for Spain.

His folly, his whim, his desire.

Such power men have over women, to throw me into a place like this. The walls and floor are horrible and damp. Nothing like the beautiful Alhambra Palace, my childhood home that my parents fought for and won. Instead of a beautiful fountains with little streams of clean, flowing water drifting into different rooms, there a river. A river that is so full of s*** and p*** that you can practically see it floating around.

His folly, his whim, his desire.

I allowed him to have a mistress, as an obedient wife should do. He abused my trust. All I ask for is to remain queen, even though I am barren. surely it is better to have a strong king with an faithful wife, rather than a strong king with a wife that will stop a nothing to get what she wants. She will betray him and she will die for it, I pray to god that it is at my hands, if i could ever get out of this horrible place.

His folly, his whim, his desire.

One thing that I know is that my whole life would be different if my dearest Arthur would still be here. We would have had the finest royal marriage in history. Our girls would have founded great dynasties and the boys would make the best kings there has ever been. It is my last wish to be lain to rest next to Arthur, but His Grace the King would never allow it. Even if he didn't know our great lie.

His folly, his whim, his desire.

smileysmileysmileysmileysmiley


Posted by Mary D. 05 Oct, 2009 01:39PM

cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Martin Oakshaft 17 Sep, 2009 06:23PM

Wow... just... wow!

that is brilliant!


Posted by Tara Shannon 14 Sep, 2009 03:06PM

I agree - this is really, really good! It's very powerful and creative! I think you would probably get some good marks if you used it.

Just some errors on the third paragraph..

Instead of a beautiful fountains with little streams of clean, flowing water drifting into different rooms, there a river. A river that is so full of s*** and p*** that you can practically see it floating around.

I'm not sure whether you wanted to say, 'Instead of beautiful fountains' or 'Instead of a beautiful fountain'. Anyways, just a typo.

You also said there a river so you may want to add an 'is' lol.

If you are thinking of using it for your coursework, you should probably find different words to replace the swearing. I know you put * over them, and why you used them, (to show how frustrated she is) but I don't think she would have even known swear words. Up to you..

Tara :)

Posted by Leif Ahnland 14 Sep, 2009 08:49AM

Hi Vanessa. I must say I reallly like this. Really, really. Brilliant job, the rhythmic pacing with the inserted

His folly, his whim, his desire

is simply great and works wonders. Good stuff also with all that venom of hers, her anger and dissappointment and envy and jealousy can be felt.

I'm getting very curious about how historically correct this is as it makes for a nice story. It feels like a good mix between Mary Queen of Scots and other royalty over the centuries.

Finally, when it comes to things that may work less well, what I am wondering is if the language always suits the time period (whichever that is.) That is on the other hand almost impossible and often pointless to do so don't worry to much about it.

One of very rare errors is the spelling of bear in this sentence

... If she does bare a healthy child ...

Anyway, fantastic.

The Librarian