The Librarian's Revenge ©

The Librarian's Revenge ©

An Odyssey Into The Wonderful World Of Words

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Foddleskund

EXERCISESPosted by Georgie Ball 22 Apr, 2009 09:28PM
Task:

· Choose two random facts from the book ‘BLABLABLA - Something to talk about when you don’t have anything to talk about: 600 completely pointless facts’.

· Write a short story in twenty minutes incorporating both facts.


“On average we go to the toilet six times a day”

“Alexander Graham Bell thought we should answer the phone; 'Hoy, Hoy'".


Draft 1 (done in 20 minutes):

“Hoy, Hoy,” I said as I picked up the phone.

“What?”

“That’s how everyone used to answer the phone before the word ‘hello’ was invented.”

“You can’t just invent a word.” The voice on the other end of the line said. I presumed it was Leticia from the nasal tone.

“Yeah, well... What does it mean?”

“It’s the jam left under the ridge of the jar that you can’t reach with a knife.” I replied smugly. There was a long pause.

“Whatever.” I could tell she was tempted to hang up the phone. “Geoff, just put Mark on the phone?”

“Yeah okay, I need to go to the loo anyway. I’m a bit behind quota at the moment. I should have gone four times by now and I need to make the average of six or my family might die.”



Draft 2 (later refined version):

“Hoy, Hoy,” I said as I picked up the receiver.

“What?”

“That’s how everyone used to answer the phone before the word ‘hello’ was invented. Alexander Graham Bell thought you should always answer with ‘Hoy, Hoy’ and it was only when Thomas Edis- ”

“You can’t just invent a word.” The voice on the other end of the line scoffed, cutting me off. I presumed it was Leticia, from the whiny, nasal tone to her voice.

“Well actually you can. Foddleskund. There; I just invented a new word.”

“Yeah, well... What does it mean then?” Leticia challenged.

“It’s the jam left under the ridge of the jar that you can’t reach with a knife.” I replied smugly. There was a very long pause.

“Whatever-” I could tell she was tempted to hand hang up the phone. “Geoff, just put your brother on the phone, will you?”

“Yeah, okay. I need to go to the loo anyway. I’m a bit behind quota at the moment. I should have gone four times by now and I need to make the average of six a day or my family might die.”